The Pain I feel is Only For You
by XxBatgirl-RobinxX
Summary: Wally abuse fic. It needed to be done, 'nuff said. Rated T for mentions and attepmt of suicide.
1. Chapter 1

A/n: welcome to my Wally abused fanfiction. Thank you for clicking on it and such. Its going to be sad with thoughts of suicide.  
This is pretty much me and my friend. She is Wally because she acts like him and I am Robin because I act like him.

Me= Robin

Friend=Wally

This goes out to you. If you don't want anyone to know about the fact don't mention it. Just be silent. You can still review but don't start sobbing. I am sorry if you don't want me doing this, but it was going to happen. This sparked in me the last time we chatted about you know what. And I finally wanted to put it out there. I love you and wish you the best.

Please note that not all the facts are about my friend. Some are just add ons to make the story feel better.

Disclaimer: all ideas go to the following DC comics, Warner Brothers, Greg Weisman and Brandon Veitti, Cartoon Network.

Hi. My name is Wallace Rudolf West. But my friends call me Wally. I'm a fifteen year old boy trying to survive in his abusive parents house and the torture at school. The torture at school only being the bullies. The kind of bullies that fight and steal and want what is truthfully yours. I lost my innocence when I was about ten. That was when my dad hit my mother. I stopped him and he beat me to a bloody pulp. I remember all the hits and punches. The kicks in the stomach and the smell of the Whiskey he was drinking before he entered the house. It only got worse as I got older. My dad said I could 'take a hit.' I'm a SuperHero! I can take a hit! Sarcasm intended. Maybe KidFlash can, but Wally can't. Wally is suppose to be that red haired, green eyed nerd that loved science and goofing around on his cell phone during class. Whenever my parents beat me, call me useless and unneeded- I go and hang out with Robin, or stay a few nights with Uncle Barry. Sometimes I wish I could just DIE. Grow up sooner without ever having to see the people that hate me. I might even join the army, even though Robin is trying to talk me out of it. He says if you really want to join the army, go do Air Force. You have less of a possibility to get murdered. He is probably right like always. I always feel like I have to live up to something. Prove myself to those around me. I sit in my classroom. Copying notes on the board so I can ace and pass my grade level. I sigh as they hand out report cards. I wait since I have a last name at the end of the alphabet. I watch everyone go up and grab their report cards and sit back down. Watch them get excited that they 'got a B in math.' I pray I don't get a B. That would only make it worse. I catch my breath in my throat as my bald teacher Mr. White calls my name. I stop taking notes and walk up to the front. I know everyone is staring at me. They see if I don't get good grades, that I would cry because Yal wouldn't accept me. No. I cry when I don't get good grades for the pain I would feel later. The letter telling me my beating weapon. I take the sealed envelope in my pale hands and walk back to my seat. I open it with hesitation. I scan through it.

Math- 95

Science- 98

Language Arts- 91

P.E.- 100

Home Ect- 94

I gulped when I saw my social studies grade. No. No! NO! I got an eighty nine. I got a B. I silently cursed and stuffed it in my book bag. The bell rang and I got ready to go home. Maybe I don't have to go home. I could say it was a mission. That Robin got hurt and needed my help. Heck. THINK WEST! I smacked myself. No use. I got out of my seat and walked towards the exit. I went as slow as my fast feet could go. As slow meaning pretty fast. I sighed again and started my five mile walk home. I ran there. Maybe my parents aren't home. Better yet- maybe I don't have to show them. Maybe Uncle Barry could sign my report card. Or I could trace it from my father's paperwork. I came to a stop at the short white house on the corner of the block. The roses in front dying of thirst and the grass needing a cut. I came up the walk way and stopped outside the door. I heard no one inside. I opened it with the key I had around my neck and walked inside. I flung my backpack on the flower patterned sofa. I climbed up the stairs to my clean room. Everyone thinks that just because I'm messy means that I live in a dump. But every time it got dirty my dad would hit me and tell me to hurry up and clean the crap. I jumped on my bed and closed my eyes. I'm just... Tired. And strained. I have no idea how I feel. Disappointed, sad, mad, crappy. There is just NO way you could explain what I felt inside. I stopped loving and liking my parents since I came to about Robin's age, 13. That was when my mom started helping with the beating. Before that she would just watch. Now? She got in it. I'm pretty sure they think its a sport. A game they could play, and win every time. I heard the door downstairs open and close. I shook in fear. CRAP! I left my book bag on the couch. My mom always searches it for stuff I may be hiding. And I did not doubt she would look in there this time. I heard footsteps coming up and stop at my door. I shaked in fear and bit my nails. It stops me from squeaking. I am tough, I can take a hit. But when its your parents and you can't do crap about it, it hurts pretty bad. Knowing that you aren't loved. Knowing you aren't liked at all. It brings bitterness and sourness in your heart. Its just something I had for awhile. My door opened and I pretended to sleep. My dad walked in and grabbed me by the hair and yanked me up. I screeched and opened my eyes. 'Screw that idea,' I thought. He brought his face close to mine, our noses touching.

"What does B stand for?" He asked. I knew what B standed for. Its why I HATE B's with a passion. I gulped one more when he sneered. He twisted my hair the wrong way and I let out a small whimper of protest. "I said Boy- What does B stand for?"

"B stands for bad. B stands for belt." I said with hate. He nodded and took off the leather belt he had on around his waist. With one hand he gripped the belt, in the other held me by my red baggy shirt. He brought the thing up to me fastly and it hit against my pale skin. Once. Twice. I felt tears brim my eyes, but it wasn't for the unbearable pain I felt starting to grow on my body. No. It was because family was doing this to me. My own flesh and blood. God I hate my family. And they hate me too. He brought the belt to my skin again. This time on my already bruised thigh. I yelled as it made a sharp snapping nose. My mom came in the room and I looked at her with pleading eyes. I probably looked so pathetic to her. To anybody that could have walked in the room. 'Maybe this time she will stop it. Maybe this time the out come will be different.' But I have no luck what so ever.

"Why?" I asked quietly. My dad stopped for a second and glanced at me. "Why do you hate me?" This one was for both of my stupid parents to answer. I crossed my bloody arms as he released me from his hold. I repeated the question. "Why hurt your own child?" Maybe I started sounding cocky, but I had to know. Which child wouldn't? Which child would? His face twisted in anger as did my mother's.

"I don't hate you! Its to teach you manners and what's good and bad!" He yelled. 'What?' He tried to hit me with the belt but I grabbed it.

"What! I am a superhero! Why do I need to be taught what is good and bad? I enforce it!" I took the belt from him. He snatched it back and ran me into the closest wall to us. He smashed his body weight to mine. My rib cage felt it was on fire.

"BOY! Do NOT talk back to your father! I will not have it in MY house! And maybe hopefully you won't come back! Maybe a villain will kill you! JUST DIE YOU STUPID PIECE OF GARBAGE!" I pushed me to the ground and on my way down, I hit my head on my dresser. It made a mark and blood came out of it. He was about to leave, I could actually see his leaving figure. 'You are wrong.' I'm going to voice my thoughts, and I was going to do that now.

"You are wrong! You were never my father!" I pointed to my glaring mom. She looked at me surprised I pulled her into the mess. "And you aren't my mother! Parents are suppose to teach me what to do and what not to do! Did you?" I paused. My dad turned around slowing by his heels. I waited for him to answer but he never did. My mom was just gaping. "NO! Uncle Barry did! He turned me into a Superhero and that's when I learned what was right and what was wrong!" I was starting to rise my voice. My father took a step closer to me. "Parents are suppose to fix your stupid mistakes! DO YOU!" I challenged. He opened his mouth.

"Yes I do! I fix your house mistakes all the time!"

"Those aren't mistakes! Those are things I'm at school and can't get done for the moment!" He said nothing and dropped his hand. "The team fix my mistakes and try to cover them up! They make themselves look like a fool too so I don't feel stupid! Parents teach you things! Do you ever teach me anything?" Both said nothing, but my dad took another step closer. "No. My teachers at school do. All you guys did was have a child. You are NOT parents!" He was right at my feet.

"Wally! How dare you disrespect me!" He yelled. I stood my ground. 'I don't care if I get hit. I don't care what happens. But I was going to say all of what I had on my mind.'

"Are you mad Rudolf?" I whispered using his real name. His eyes got wide and he slapped me hard. I fell to the ground. I came back up cupping my face on the spot that was slapped. I glared and both of my parents retreated to their room. As soon as they closed my door, I slid to the ground, tears streaming down my face. 'I can't take this crap anymore!' I got up all wobbly and walked downstairs. I came into the dirty kitchen with unwashed dishes everywhere and bugs crawling in and out of cracks that never got fixed. I opened the silverware draw. I picked up a kitchen knife. It was so soft and if I cut myself in a vein or in the neck, it would easily kill me. I stuffed it in my pocket and raced upstairs to my room. If my parents came out and saw me with it, I would be dead meat. 'But I already want to die?' I questioned myself. 'But not in the hands of those monsters.' I came in my bathroom and locked the door. The sink turned on when I turned the handle. The water started coming in bucket loads. I clogged the sink with toilet paper. As it came to the top, I turned it off. I put my hands in the warm water with the knife in one of my hands. Slowly I brought it up to my wrists. I cut them and the blood starting flowing out. I didn't cut any veins, so I know I wouldn't die. But I could always hope, right? Right. I washed the bloody water down the drain and quickly took out of the house. 'I think I'm going to go to the cave.' I ran to the closest Zeta-Tube. I walked inside.

"KidFlash B03." I walked in and was greeted by Miss Martian. I put on my best fake smile. It seemed to work.

"Hi Beautiful!" I said with a smirk. She grabbed my wrists and started steering me into the kitchen. I hissed quietly in pain.

"The others are eating cookies!" She said happily. I smiled for her. 'Its better to pretend I'm fine than having her worry.' I nodded and came in the room with out a sound. The others saw me and smiled. I took up a cookie and bit it. A creamy goodness that was only peanut butter splashed in my mouth.

"You didn't have any of these Rob, did you?" He shook his head and I smiled. Miss Martian looked hurt. "No. They are good, its just that its filled with what Robin can't have." Her mouth shaped an 'o' and she continued watching the others eat.

"Wanna go play video games?" Robin asked. I smiled and ran to the living room before he even had a chance to register what was happening. I laughed and hopped on the dark green clothed couch. Robin followed suit. We both had controllers in our hands and big cheeky smiles on our faces. But this time, mine wasn't fake. It was real and big and meaningful. I started the game. This is why I never cut my veins, this is why I never kill myself, this is why I deal with the pain. Because I DO have those that care for me. I DO have those that love me. I DO have those who would hate and kill themselves if they had my funeral to go to. I live with the pain so I don't have to be the cause of someone else's pain. I smirked. This was my family. This is part of the reason I LIVE. I am bright. I am happy. I am goofy. And I am the science loving, red headed, green eyed speedster that loved to play with his phone in class. That is me for a reason. And I can deal with it.

A/n: thank you for reading this. And if this sounds like you I promise you, you aren't alone. You have SOMEONE that cares about you. SOMEONE that would hate to go to your funeral. Everyone has a someone. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/n: It was suppose to be a one-shot but I was told to continue. So this will be the last chapter (since I haven't gotten anything planned with this now) this chapter is going to be when Artemis mostly and the team find out that Wally cut himself. Warnings :Sad.

Disclaimer: If I owned YJ, Wally wouldn't have had to live with this pain that he does.

Me and Robin sat on the couches, playing Smash Brothers 3, while the others laughed at us, for awhile. Me and Robin just kept tying! I got up to get a water, as M'Gann took my place on the couch. I walked into the clean kitchen and opened the fridge. Surprisingly I wasn't hungry. My mind was on other things. No way was I going back to my parents house after this. I just don't want to depend on them any more. I grabbed my bottle and made way back to the living room. My band aids on my wrists were coming off; three on each. I slapped them back on with a hiss and found my body sitting next to Artemis on the floor. She smiled at me, rare, but it happened at times. I watched Robin beat the crap out of M'Gann twice, before he handed the controller to Kaldur. The two newbies sat pressing random buttons. Robin joined us on the floor. I didn't notice til now that Artemis was staring at my hands; no wrists in particular. I stuffed my hands in my pockets quickly, but Robin already had them out again as Artemis was taking off my band aids. I fought back at first, but realized this round went to the humans. Both gasped as they saw the fresh new marks of cuts on me. I couldn't meet their eyes as they stared at me in shock. I sighed as I tried to place the band aids back on, but Artemis slapped my hands away. This gained the attention of the others quickly. Kaldur paused the game and they all watched me, Artemis and Robin tangle. M'Gann had a fit at what she saw and pushed everyone out of the way so she could grab me and steer me to the Med Bay. The rest of the team, almost in a trance, following suit. Soon we were all in the crowded small Med Bay, me on a counter sitting as M'Gann put medicine on my cuts. Everyone else was sitting around me.

"Why?" Artemis asked breaking the silence that was our room. She looked down at her feet and rocked back and forth.

"Why what?" I pretended like I didn't know what she was talking about. I didn't want them to know about my parents, they would be all sympathetic to me just like Robin was when he first found out. I didn't like sympathy. Artemis stood up quickly and grabbed the collar of my shirt harshly. I nearly fell off the counter top in the process. Her grey eyes showed anger and disappointment.

"You cutting yourself, West! Because we all know a villain didn't do that to you! WHY?" She shouted. She released me and fell to the ground in near tears. I hopped off the counter and sat next to the blonde. I reached out for her but she moved out of my range. I frowned. I was just as mad as she was!

"Look! I can't take the pain with living with my parents anymore! All they do is beat me like a Pinata for fun! And. I. Won't. Have. It!" They all jumped at my out rage. Have them think I'm a freak, I don't care! I didn't realize I was crying until Kaldur handed me a box of tissues which I accepted. I blew my nose and Artemis took two of the tissues. I hugged her by her side.

"Can we have a minute?" Artemis asked the rest of the team. They all got up to leave mumbling their apologies and offering comfort. I stared down at the girl I called a frenemy. She hugged me back.

"Next time I'll tell you I promise!" I said holding up my hand and placing it over my heart. Artemis slapped me across the face.

"NO NEXT TIME!" She shouted. I winced. She grabbed my hand and played with my fingers. I did the same with her.

"Its okay. I'm okay." I mumbled. She did something so unexpected. She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I grazed my hand on the spot and silently vowing to never wash my face again. She got up.

"If you ever feel the urge to cut yourself at home again. Call me and I'll pick you up." And with that said. She vanished.

Break line oh the magical break line!

That night I packed up all my things, bags and clothes and all. Silently I crept down stairs. It was a little past midnight and very dark. I pulled out my Android and clicked on the mini light. It was to bright. I turned it off and pulled out my goggles. I turned them on. I walked through the living room when a voice came from behind me.

"Where do you think you are going?" Crap.

A/n: okay you guys can get one more chapter if I get just one review that's positive. Thanks! 


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: THANKS! I have never gotten so much feed back from one chapter ever! I am like ubber happy with all of you. Okay- go into Spencer Reid mood! No. Wrong mood, that's my first baby. My second is Robin X) going into depression mode now! Here it is.

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

I stood there paralyzed out of my wits. It spooked me, that my goggles didn't get his heat signature. He had only his rope on, a cord in his right hand. I gulped and set down my book bag. My dad stood there, ready to hit me with full throttle. I winced, already feeling the pain in my body. It hurt. I raised my fists, my body shaking visibly. Why me? Rudolf gave me a smirk, his old red hairy mustache doing a little dance on his lip. I didn't want to fight him, but this time I'm not going to be ignored. I wasn't going to be mistreated. I pulled my goggles on the top of my mess I called hair. No way. He threw me to the ground and started hitting me with the cord. Every hit stung. Not just my skin and body, but also my heart. Also my pride. He grunted with each hit. Twenty eight first minute and slowly increasing to decreasing. Tears in my eyes, and a lump in my throat, I pushed him off of my lean body with my feet, making him hit his head against the door frame. He scowled.

"Why can't you be like other boys! Normal, playing sports and what not?" He growled, shoving me into the door frame opposite of him. I called out. He lifted me up and I started choking.

"Because you never let me! You took away my child hood, and made it your personal game. And I'm done with it!" I kicked him in the groin, my adrenaline pumping fastly. He fell to his knees, hands over said area. His face showed discomfort and pain. He deserves it. And if I really wanted to pay back what he did to me, I would say death. I grabbed my over stuffed book bag and bolted outside. I ignored my dad's shouts and my mom's confusion. I was at Uncle Barry's in a heart beat. Without thinking or reminding myself it was well past three in the morning, I knocked on the door. Nobody answered at first. I knocked again on the green door. I got a cranky Uncle on the other end. He looked at me confused. I rushed inside, throwing my bag on the couch and closing the door. I sat down, head in hands.

"I couldn't take it anymore, Barry, the abuse. Is it okay if I live with you?" I whispered. I knew I was asking a lot. But I hoped he understood. The blonde plopped next to me. He wrapped his big arms around me, and I felt myself start to cry. He pulled me on his lap.

"Get up Kid. I need to see something. Take off your clothes, you can leave your boxers on though." I nodded and slowly took off my shirt. We both stood up. His breath hitched as he traced every scar on my body. Every bruise, red mark, and even scratch. I felt exposed. I took off my jeans and Uncle Barry gasped. I looked down at myself. My entire calf was turning a lovely shade of purple, green in some fixed areas. Iris came down and she gasped. She rushed down.

"What happened to Wallace!" She screeched. This was the most attention I probably have ever gotten in my life. Barry sighed.

"Abuse. I'm sorry Wally, but I think Rudolf needs to do time for this. I'll call the police in the morning. Want some hot tea? It will make you feel better," Uncle Barry said. I nodded and Aunt Iris went into the kitchen. She came out a few minutes later, a steaming cup of Tea in her hands. She gave it to me. I held it for a minute, letting the warmth go through me like an electric shock. Then I drank it all in milliseconds. They set up a place for me to sleep. From now on, I knew I wouldn't feel like garbage. I knew that nobody would mistreat me. I knew that I had a place where I do belong. I smiled and fell asleep. Because I, Wallace West, 15, a science geek and a guy who likes to play on his phone in class. Just got his life back.

FIN

A/n: that's it! Give me a review please! 


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